How To Tell Good Career Advice From Bad Career Advice

Many of the job seekers I work with feel conflicted about how to choose the right career path.

I hear often:

"Some people tell me to choose which problem I most want to solve... Others tell me to optimize for work-life balance... Others tell me to stay put and be grateful for my corporate career and salary... I just don't know whose advice to follow." 

The truth is, when most people give advice, they're telling you about their values -- what they have that they love, or what they feel they're missing.

• The person who says "choose the problem you most want to solve" likely values making a difference. Perhaps it's what they do, what they wish they would have done, or what they think everyone in the world should be doing.

• The person who says "optimize for work-life balance" likely values balance above other factors. Perhaps they've experienced burnout, or feel acutely aware of how short life is, or have a balanced life that works for them.

• The person who says "stay put and be grateful" likely cares deeply about stability (and possibly, is biased towards your stability, e.g. a parent or spouse).

All of these people's opinions are honest and well intentioned. But the only person’s values you want driving your career decisions are your values.

Because you're the one who will be living every day of this life that you create for yourself.

This doesn’t mean other people’s advice can’t be helpful to you. It can be incredibly helpful! You just want to be strategic about when and who you ask – and which particular advice or information you ask for. 

My advice… on when to ask for advice :)

1. Once you have a sense of your top values (use this exercise to define them!), ask people with insider knowledge how a particular career path may or may not align with your values.
   
   For instance, let’s say you’ve determined work-life balance is what’s most important to you at this phase of your life and career. You can ask people in the career paths you’re considering how much balance they have; whether they and their peers have found balance easy or hard to find in their field and how they've done it; what advice might they have for where to focus your search if balance is what’s most important to you right now.
   
   Pro tip: Every person you ask for targeted advice represents one data point. The more data you gather, the more confident you’ll feel about your conclusions. So always ask more than one person!
   

2. Once you have a sense of your top values, ask anyone and everyone for their lessons learned as a general source of inspiration or ideas.
   
   I’m a massive fan of asking anyone and everyone for their life lessons learned. “Why did you pursue the career that you did? How did you find it? How do you feel about it? What do you wish you would have done differently?” By asking these kinds of questions, you gain insight into the variety of options and values you could consider, and what approaches you might take to work and life.
   
   Pro tip: In these conversations, you may hear a story or learn something that shifts your understanding of your values. If so, that's great! Just be sure you take in these learnings as ideas worth considering, not truisms to be followed.
   

3. Once you have a sense of your top values, ask the people who know you best whether you’re being honest and authentic to yourself.
   
   Sometimes it’s hard to know whether we’re choosing our core values, or the values we think we should hold. Ask someone you trust to help you consider whether the values you’ve selected are true to your experience, dreams, and identity. Have them point out potential blindspots. Let them help you consider tough tradeoffs, and what you may need to do to prioritize one value over another.
   
   Pro tip: Make sure this person is either a friend, family member, (or coach!) who is open-minded and capable of setting aside their values to speak to you about yours.

In short:

Approach getting advice strategically and from a strong sense of your own values, and it can become a supremely helpful asset in your career planning process. 

• Get clear on your values.

• Get clear on your vision for the life you want to create.

• Get clear about what you’re hoping someone’s advice will help you learn or accomplish.

Then, you can try on the advice you receive. See if it fits you. And if it doesn’t, let it go. 

Again, you're the one who will be living every day of this life that you create for yourself. Make sure it’s one that you will love.

[PODCAST] On crafting your intentional career

This was my first time being a podcast guest. And boy, was it fun (and yes, a little bit scary)!

In this episode of The Pique Podcast, I chatted with Cristina Roman - a Life Coach and former client of mine - about crafting a career with intention. We dug deep into our own professional journeys and some of the tools we use with our clients that you can start using for yourself, today.

Tune in to learn (on Apple, Stitcher, and Google Play): 

• My take on how to craft a fulfilling career;

• Growth mindset and what to do with our limitations;

• Why I left Silicon Valley and gave up public speaking;

• How to pivot your career;

• The beauty of formalizing “safety nets” in our lives; and

• How to increase the chances of your dream coming true from 65% to 95%.

I hope you'll give yourself 60 minutes today or this week to unlock greater happiness in your work and life...

...or at the very least, to hear my awkward laugh and secret love of Drew Barrymore movies. :)

And if you're inspired, thanks in advance for forwarding the episode to a friend who might enjoy it, or tagging me on your favorite social media platform with your biggest takeaway. I would be oh-so grateful.

The 5-Year Plan Alternative: Your 5-Year Vision Exercise

This is one of the most popular exercises my clients complete when they’re struggling to figure out what they want to do. 

Sometimes we’re so focused on the granular question at hand, “What job would be best for me?” we forget to zoom out, and tap into the vision of the broader life we want this next career step to be a part of — the life we want to move towards creating.

Once we have that vision in mind, it becomes easier to assess which potential next steps would (and wouldn’t!) lead us there.

This exercise guides you to creatively envision a day in your ideal life, five years from now. 

Here’s how you do it: 

First, pull out a pen and paper, or open up a new document on your computer. 

Then, close your eyes, and take three deep breaths. Start to imagine yourself opening your eyes and waking up in the morning, on a random work day five years from now, in your ideal life. 

After you’re done taking those deep breaths, start writing, from start to finish, what that ideal day would look like. Follow the below prompts to envision and describe what that life vision looks like.

*To note, if you’re feeling stuck in this exercise because you’re considering multiple visions of what your future could look like, try creating a narrative for each of those different possibilities, so you can look at them side by side. Give each of them a name, for instance, you might have a “Climb the ladder” path and a “Start my own business” path, or a “Stay at home with the kids” path and a “Become a poet” path. Try exploring the possibilities from the lens of what each path would actually look like on a random Tuesday, to figure out which one(s) you’re most drawn to exploring further.

• Where do you wake up? What time is it? When you roll over and open your eyes, what do you see? What kind of a place and space are you living in, and who or what is there with you? What do you do first? What does your morning routine look like? 

• How do you get to work? Where is it? What does your work space look like, and who is there when you get there? 

• What kinds of work do you do? What kind of company or organization are you working  for? What’s the pace of the day like? What kinds of tasks or projects are you working on? Are you working with individuals? By yourself? Groups? What is the bulk of your day spent doing? What are you trying to accomplish? 

• When do you stop working, and where do you go? What does your evening look like? When do you go to bed? How do you spend your weekend?

Once you’ve completed the first part of your exercise, reflect on what you can learn from what you’ve written. 

• What does this vision tell you about what’s most important to you in life (your values)?

• How does this vision compare to your life today? What elements exist in your current life, and what’s missing? 

• For the elements that are missing, what might it take to incorporate them into your life? (Bonus points if you separate these elements into two lists titled “minor effort” and “major effort”)

• If you were to move towards that vision starting today, which elements would you most want to focus on building? What would it take, and where would you start?

Keep in mind, you’re not making any promises or committing to this vision today. This is part of a larger exploration process to help you uncover insights about what you do and don’t want. And even if you came away with a remarkably clear vision today, that vision may change as new experiences, people, and needs come into your life. 

But hopefully by the end of this exercise, you have a better idea of what parts of your 5-year vision are already present in your life. Those are the pieces to be grateful for, and to thank yourself for building thus far. 

I hope you also gain a clearer understanding of the kind of life you want to build towards — what’s missing, and which steps would and would not help you move in that direction. 

And last, I hope you feel inspired by spending a moment trying on what it feels like to wake up in that happiest of places. I hope you feel how possible it would be to achieve what you want, or at least get a whole lot closer than you are today. Make that vision your north star, and get moving! Every step you take in that direction is a step in alignment with your authentic happiness, and as long as that’s what you’re doing, you can’t go wrong.