“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality” - Seneca
If there’s one thing I see getting in the way of people’s job search and career success more than anything else, it’s fear.
Fear is that racing in our chest, or the doubting voice deep in our minds that holds us back from taking the actions we most desire. Actions like searching for a more fulfilling career, negotiating for the raise we know we deserve, scheduling a networking conversation, quitting a job before we have a new one lined up, starting a tough conversation with our boss, or simply speaking up in meetings.
Fear says to us, “Maybe you shouldn’t…”
And sometimes that “maybe” is all it takes to send us into a state of paralysis.
There’s no way to eliminate fear from our emotional repertoire. We all feel it (I sure do!)
But we can change how we handle fear -- how we evaluate it, put it in perspective, and methodically decide which fears are worth leaning into in order to build our happiest careers and lives.
That’s why next up in my “My favorite podcasts” sequence is Tim Ferriss’ TED Talk on his Fear Setting Exercise -- an exercise I use regularly with my clients.
Here’s how it works. Copy and paste into a Word doc if you want to try it for yourself!
Fear Setting
1. Write down whatever it is you want to do, but are avoiding because of fear: “What if I…...?”
2. Fill in the following table:
3. Ask yourself a few final important questions:
Has anyone else in the history of time figured this out?
What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success (e.g. would you build confidence, skills, knowledge, relationships, financial runway, etc.)?
What’s the cost of inaction? If you avoid this action / decision, what might your life look like in 6 months, 12 months, 3 years (emotionally, physically, financially)?
Now that you have all of this down on paper, which of the two paths appeals to you more?
I love this exercise because it quickly helps us get out of our heads, and transition from “analysis paralysis” to confident decision making.
You’re probably not surprised to hear that most often after going through this exercise, my clients decide to move forward with their now-less-scary goals. They also often let out a little giggle and ask themselves why it took so long to come to this conclusion... (See some of their stories here, and here, and here).
Every single one of my clients deals with fear at some point during our work together. And every single one of them has had to navigate fear in order to get where they want to go.
It’s not a deficiency; it’s an inherent part of building a fulfilling life and career.
What about you?
What are you resisting because of fear? And does Fear Setting help you view it in a different way? Or what other strategies have you used to tackle fear in your career?