Many of the job seekers I work with feel conflicted about how to choose the right career path.

I hear often:

"Some people tell me to choose which problem I most want to solve... Others tell me to optimize for work-life balance... Others tell me to stay put and be grateful for my corporate career and salary... I just don't know whose advice to follow." 

The truth is, when most people give advice, they're telling you about their values -- what they have that they love, or what they feel they're missing.

• The person who says "choose the problem you most want to solve" likely values making a difference. Perhaps it's what they do, what they wish they would have done, or what they think everyone in the world should be doing.

• The person who says "optimize for work-life balance" likely values balance above other factors. Perhaps they've experienced burnout, or feel acutely aware of how short life is, or have a balanced life that works for them.

• The person who says "stay put and be grateful" likely cares deeply about stability (and possibly, is biased towards your stability, e.g. a parent or spouse).

All of these people's opinions are honest and well intentioned. But the only person’s values you want driving your career decisions are your values.

Because you're the one who will be living every day of this life that you create for yourself.

This doesn’t mean other people’s advice can’t be helpful to you. It can be incredibly helpful! You just want to be strategic about when and who you ask – and which particular advice or information you ask for. 

My advice… on when to ask for advice :)

1. Once you have a sense of your top values (use this exercise to define them!), ask people with insider knowledge how a particular career path may or may not align with your values.
   
   For instance, let’s say you’ve determined work-life balance is what’s most important to you at this phase of your life and career. You can ask people in the career paths you’re considering how much balance they have; whether they and their peers have found balance easy or hard to find in their field and how they've done it; what advice might they have for where to focus your search if balance is what’s most important to you right now.
   
   Pro tip: Every person you ask for targeted advice represents one data point. The more data you gather, the more confident you’ll feel about your conclusions. So always ask more than one person!
   

2. Once you have a sense of your top values, ask anyone and everyone for their lessons learned as a general source of inspiration or ideas.
   
   I’m a massive fan of asking anyone and everyone for their life lessons learned. “Why did you pursue the career that you did? How did you find it? How do you feel about it? What do you wish you would have done differently?” By asking these kinds of questions, you gain insight into the variety of options and values you could consider, and what approaches you might take to work and life.
   
   Pro tip: In these conversations, you may hear a story or learn something that shifts your understanding of your values. If so, that's great! Just be sure you take in these learnings as ideas worth considering, not truisms to be followed.
   

3. Once you have a sense of your top values, ask the people who know you best whether you’re being honest and authentic to yourself.
   
   Sometimes it’s hard to know whether we’re choosing our core values, or the values we think we should hold. Ask someone you trust to help you consider whether the values you’ve selected are true to your experience, dreams, and identity. Have them point out potential blindspots. Let them help you consider tough tradeoffs, and what you may need to do to prioritize one value over another.
   
   Pro tip: Make sure this person is either a friend, family member, (or coach!) who is open-minded and capable of setting aside their values to speak to you about yours.

In short:

Approach getting advice strategically and from a strong sense of your own values, and it can become a supremely helpful asset in your career planning process. 

• Get clear on your values.

• Get clear on your vision for the life you want to create.

• Get clear about what you’re hoping someone’s advice will help you learn or accomplish.

Then, you can try on the advice you receive. See if it fits you. And if it doesn’t, let it go. 

Again, you're the one who will be living every day of this life that you create for yourself. Make sure it’s one that you will love.