Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
In her 2019 book, The Imposter Cure: How to stop feeling like a fraud and escape the mind-trap of imposter syndrome, clinical psychologist Dr. Jessamy Hibberd shares the three steps to overcoming imposter syndrome:
Understanding the theory
Choosing to change
Trying out new strategies and approaches
Step 1 to Overcome Imposter Syndrome: Understanding the Theory
What is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as “having a persistent belief in the lack of one’s intelligence, competence, or skills.” (Clance, P. R. & Imes, S. (1978))
Different people experience imposter syndrome to different degrees - ranging from occasionally worrying that we may not succeed at something to full-blown fears of being ‘found out’ accompanied by chronic self-doubt, fear, and failure-related shame.
70% of people have experienced it! Imposter syndrome is very common.
Why does it happen?
Imposter syndrome is all about fear; it happens when we fear that what is expected of us exceeds what we’re capable of doing.
Someone with healthy confidence or a growth mindset will respond to the thought, “Eek! I don’t think I’m capable enough,” by leaning into the challenge: “My discomfort is a normal, human reaction. I can do this, or I can learn to do this. If I fail, I’ll be okay.”
In contrast, someone who experiences imposter syndrome can fall into what Hibberd calls the “Mind Trap of Imposter Syndrome.”
The Mind-Trap of Imposter Syndrome:
We feel like an imposter, and we’re afraid of failing which would expose our lack of ability to others.
So, we use two coping mechanisms to combat our fear and discomfort:
Overwork (e.g. working long hours and weekends; over-preparing; obsessing over minor details; trying to stay in control all of the time; impossibly high standards)
Avoidance (e.g. avoiding challenges and risks; procrastinating; not asking for help; holding back; staying under the radar; not putting yourself up for promotion; dreaming of escape)
We succeed at the task of hand.
We attribute our success to overwork and/or avoidance, and sadly, these coping mechanisms prevent us from having experiences that show us we don’t need to overwork or avoid in order to succeed. We feel affirmed that we are, in fact, an imposter, and the cycle starts all over again.
Step 2 to Overcome Imposter Syndrome: Choosing to Change
Many people who fall prey to overwork and avoidance think their success depends upon it, or can’t imagine an alternative way of living.
To choose to change, you first have to recognize the negative impact this behavior and way of thinking is having on your life, and the faulty logic that drives you. Then you can start to envision and choose a healthier, happier way forward.
1. Recognize the negative impact of imposter syndrome.
Ask yourself: How have your coping strategies been affecting you? Are you sacrificing your health and happiness for your work? Is this the way you want your life to look? How might it feel to really go for the things you want, to trust in your ability to succeed, and to weather failure when you don’t succeed?
2. Recognize that your thoughts and feelings about your lack of ability are likely unreasonable and untrue.
Ask yourself: What’s the actual evidence for these negative thoughts and feelings? Are you the only voice in the room criticizing yourself? If you were a researcher, would you rely on one source of data when most others state the opposite?
3. Recognize that self-criticism isn’t making you work harder or aim higher.
Many people with imposter syndrome think their critical self-assessment is core to their success, and fail to see that they are successful despite the negative impact of self-criticism. Research shows self-criticism puts us at higher risk of depression and stress and it makes us less effective at implementing healthy coping strategies. By comparison, self-compassionate people are more resilient and bounce back more easily from setbacks. They are more likely to learn from their mistakes, to take steps to improve themselves, and to reach their potential.
4. Recognize what it would mean to let go of these habits. It doesn’t mean that you won’t hold yourself accountable for your actions and reach for greatness. Rather, it opens the door for you to:
Accurately assess your abilities and performance
Establish more reasonable, values-aligned goals and approaches to work
Learn to embrace fear, insecurity, imperfection, and failure as normal, human experiences
Live a more empowered, healthy and balanced life.
Step 3 to Overcome Imposter Syndrome: Trying out New Strategies and Approaches
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Moving on from imposter syndrome doesn’t happen overnight (as much as we would like it to). It takes effort and practice to replace your default approach with a new, more effective one.
Hibberd methodically goes through tens of exercises in her book, helping you to step-by-step change the way you talk to yourself, develop healthier coping strategies, and embrace more evidence-based perspectives on fear, insecurity, failure, and perfection.
Here are the exercises and strategies that resonated the most with me — although if you struggle with imposter syndrome (like I do!) I *highly* recommend purchasing the book and working through the exercises on your own. We each experience imposter syndrome differently, so you may find more value in different exercises.
1. Hibberd’s My Achievements Exercise
Goal: To combat the imposter voice with evidence it can’t refute, and start replacing the imposter narrative with the fact that you haven’t fooled anyone - you are capable.
Exercise: Take out a piece of paper and write down every achievement from your entire life. Degrees, awards, jobs, promotions, compliments and praise you’ve received, hobbies you’ve learned, difficult situations you’ve overcome, ways you’ve supported others. After you’ve created this (likely very long) list, Hibberd asks you to reflect with questions like, “What does this list say about who you are and what you’re capable of? How would you think of someone else with this list of achievements? Are you applying the same rules to others as you apply to yourself?”
2. Externalize The Imposter Exercise
Goal: To start distancing yourself from the imposter voice and recognizing that it’s not you, and not true.
Exercise: Give your imposter voice a name and a face that aren’t you - a bully worth standing up to (I named mine Pepe Le Pew). Start recognizing when your imposter tells you you’re not good enough, that you need to work harder, that you can’t fail, that you’ll be found out. And then tell that bully to shut up. Every time my imposter pipes up, I find it thoroughly enjoyable to yell at him, “Pipe down, Pepe!”
3. Replacing Self-Criticism with Self-Compassion
Goal: To help it ‘click’ in your brain that self criticism is not the path to peak performance or happiness, and start re-training your internal voice to react compassionately instead of critically.
Exercise #1: Write down all of the self critical things your imposter voice has said to you recently. Then, make two lists: one with all of the benefits of that self criticism, and one with all of the negative effects. Chances are your benefits list will not outweigh the costs.
Exercise #2: Hibberd writes that self-compassion requires “treating yourself kindly and taking a warm, nonjudgemental approach; think brave, strong, fair and wise.” So when you hear your imposter start to criticize (e.g. “I can’t believe you did that, you dummy!”) shift to speak to yourself as you would a close friend. Take responsibility for your actions, but remember that no one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Focus less on what you did wrong and more on what you’d like to do moving forward.
4. Beating Overwork and Avoidance
*There is a significant amount of content dedicated to these issues and I’ve tried to summarize the most critical points here*
Goal: To experiment with cutting back on overworking and tackling avoidance, thereby giving yourself proof that you are not an imposter.
Overwork Exercises: Tackling overwork requires doing less - or rather experimenting with doing less in order to learn what is actually expected and required of you. Hibberd suggests testing the theory by turning in work you think is 80% complete and seeing how people respond. You can also experiment with other behaviors and witness the effects — behaviors like setting boundaries, taking breaks, delegating, and stopping micromanaging.
Avoidance Exercises: Try taking calculated risks outside of your comfort zone. The more calculated risks you take, the more anxious predictions you’ll prove wrong, and the more confident you’ll start to feel. Also, address procrastination (a common avoidance action) by:
Reminding yourself how good you’ll feel when the task is complete
Asking your future self why this task is important to them
Giving yourself a reward to look forward to once the task is complete
Practicing self-compassion; instead of beating yourself up when you procrastinate, have your strong, brave, fair, wise self assess the situation and tell you how to move forward.
Bigger Picture Exercise: On a deeper level, tackling overwork and avoidance requires reassessing your standards and your definition of success. How are you currently dividing your time and energy? Does this align with what’s most important to you, the way you want to be living, and what’s actually required of you? How would you re-craft your division of time and energy so that it is more values-aligned, and recognizes the difference between healthy conscientiousness and unhealthy perfectionism?
Pulling it all together
Even with Hibberd’s expert guidance, overcoming imposter syndrome can feel like an overwhelming endeavor. This is just a small selection of the exercises and recommendations she shares, and they all take dedicated practice to internalize.
But the more I implemented Hibberd’s perspectives and exercises, the more I started to enjoy the process and believe in my ability to become a stronger, more confident version of myself (yes, career coaches are also imperfect and we have our own ‘stuff’ to work on!).
Hibberd encourages her readers to “learn to enjoy the thrill” of life; to view life not as a test to be passed, but rather an adventure to be savored.
Overcoming imposter syndrome is one of those many challenges in the adventure of life -- and with a bit of effort and self-belief, it can become a challenge we enjoy in and of itself.
**Disclaimer: I am a career coach who summarized Hibberd’s book, not a licensed mental health professional. If you find yourself struggling significantly with imposter syndrome, a wonderful step is to find a licensed therapist to help support you in your journey.**